I for "Intentional Living"

These days I get a lot of questions from people, everybody enquiring almost the same thing.

"You seem to be so happy these days, did you hit a lottery"

I can't totally deny their question, because I am happy these days. I was not the same person, till the last two months, but something changed then. I was one of those normal people, who was always tensed about something that has gone wrong, or something happening that was not exactly how I wanted it to be, or the worst, something might terribly go wrong. I was also very underconfident about myself, and self-respect had drowned somewhere deep inside this ocean of life. 

I didn't have dreams, didn't have goals, and didn't have anything exciting to look for. Have you heard people say "Whatever has to happen will happen, and we don't have much say in that", that's exactly what I totally imbibed and resonated with. The cruise of my life was left free, to wonder in the unknown sea of life, and be directed by uncertain, unknown, and unpredictable wind. I was under a false sense of calm since I didn't have to put my mind to decide the direction. I would get up every day on time, and do the things I was either told to do or what the society considered a sane person would do. I never went talking to strangers, learning about the stories of people, or exploring new things in life.

My default state of being was Sadness earlier, I somehow derived a sense of peace from being miserable. I thought about all the worst-case scenarios that could happen, and how unfairly I have been treated by it.

Then something switched in my mind, on a random day, I don't know when. And I decided to take control back of the cruise in my life. From that day onwards, I decided that I would be happy, even if there are a hundred reasons to be sad, I would find myself one to be happy. I gave life a big enough shot to decide things for me, now it's my turn to do so. Now, I meet new people every time I get a chance. I strike up a random conversation with anybody I meet, be it a delivery guy, a cab driver, or an Unknown Uncle who I just stopped my lift midway when I was in a hurry. Whenever I get a chance, I exchange smiles with the security guard of the building or the kids I see around in a temple line, or in the vehicle beside mine in a traffic signal. By, the way these are the interactions with unknown people I had in the last 48 hours, and each one instilled new confidence and fresh belief in how good the world still is if just care to open our arms a little.

I call myself god's favorite child and choose to look at everything I have been blessed with.

I have also started doing a couple of consistency challenges, as per my new year resolution, and that reassures me that I don't have any commitment issues like people in my generation are blamed for. I have started taking my self-talk more seriously now, whereas earlier I used to pity myself and chicken out of doing difficult things. Now if I have thought X number of push-ups means X, nothing less than X, no matter how long it takes, it can get to X+1, but not X-1 anymore. Consequently, I have started being conscious of what I speak to myself and others because I know I cannot escape now. I don't want to pity myself anymore now, I want to respect myself and respect myself immensely, more than I did anybody else.

"You seem to be so happy these days, did you hit a lottery", 

"Yes", I respond with astounding confidence now.

I have started living a life with an intention behind everything. Even If I get down now, I will get down fighting like a warrior.

If you are still wondering what was it that changed my outlook, I am still in the process to recollect it and if you are really interested, drop me a hint somewhere in the comments and I will get back to you once I figure it out.

Till then, 

Choose life with an intent...